For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. Philemon 1:15-20 ESV
There are times when we are pressed to look at a difficult situation through a different lens to see God where His presence isn’t plainly evident, and this may reveal a calling to do something bold to show how genuine our faith really is.
In today’s passage, Paul begins by gently suggesting that God’s sovereignty was at work in what was likely a very painful separation between Philemon and Onesimus. He says, “For this perhaps is why he [Onesimus] was parted from you for a while,” a rhetorical statement inviting Philemon to look beyond the serious offense Onesimus committed to see how God could use it for good.
Paul opens a window for Philemon to look at the situation differently. What could have been considered an unforgiveable sin by Onesimus could now be turned into something wonderful. I’m reminded of Paul’s words in Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Paul then tells Philemon, “that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother,” therebyelevating the Christians’ earthly relationship from a master and slave to an eternal brotherhood. Onesimus, once a runaway slave, is now Philemon’s brother in Christ, equal in the eyes of God. If you put yourself in Philemon’s shoes, you’ll see this may have been a really big pill for him to swallow. Paul was asking a lot, and this would require great humility and faith. It forces us to ask how we might respond in this situation.
Notice that Paul’s appeal is not just for a private reconciliation between two men, but for a visible demonstration of a saving faith that the church would see. When we forgive, we mirror the heart of our Savior, who forgave us while we were estranged and “runaways” ourselves. Just as Onesimus was once “useless” but became “useful” through redemption (see Phm 1:11), we too were once lost and useless to God’s Kingdom until Christ redeemed us. For a Christian to stubbornly withhold forgiveness is to spit on the mercy we have received, but to extend it freely, even when it hurts or seems unfair, is to proclaim the gospel through our actions.
The apostle goes on to say, “So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it.” Here, Paul sacrificially stands in the gap, offering to bear Onesimus’s debt. Do you see how the gospel jumps from the pages of this text? This is exactly what Christ did for us… fully paying our debt to God the Father by charging what we owed to His own account. Just as Onesimus had no means to pay back Philemon, we too have no means to pay back God for our sins – only Christ is able to make good on our debt. To Christ be the glory!
In verse 20 Paul points to what might be considered the true test of Philemon’s humility. He says, “to say nothing of your owing me even your own self.” Paul’s request is not only for the benefit of Onesimus, nor even for the local church alone. He sacrificed a great deal to bring the gospel to the Gentiles, and Paul tells Philemon to remember that it was through his pain and suffering that he received the gospel. This seems like a rather blunt statement, but it cannot be argued against; those who sacrifice to bring the gospel to the world and to teach God’s word are worthy of additional honor (see 1 Tim 5:17).
Paul closes with, “Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.” The word “benefit” is from the Greek oninēmi, which is closely related to Onesimus’s name, again playing on the theme of usefulness. Paul’s linguistic skill is masterful, but his heart is deeply pastoral. He longs for the refreshment of the soul that will come when Philemon forgives and embraces Onesimus.
Paul’s letter to Philemon culminates in today’s verses, forming a beautiful petition each of us can take to heart. Paul does not exercise his apostolic authority, instead he pleads through brotherly love. He does not demand a response, instead he appeals for mercy. He doesn’t dismiss the wrongdoing, but he begs for Christ-like forgiveness through grace. In forgiving Onesimus, Philemon would be extending the very forgiveness that Christ gave him. This is the gospel lived out between believers, a tangible testimony of what God has done for us through Jesus Christ.
When we forgive those who have wronged us, we show our true appreciation for the redemption we have in Christ. Perhaps God has allowed certain wounds or separations in our lives so that, through forgiveness and reconciliation, His glory might be revealed even more. May we, like these men, be living examples of the gospel, willing to humbly forgive a repentant brother, remembering that it was Christ who first forgave us.