Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. Philemon 1:8-10 ESV
In the preceding verses, Paul just finished commending Philemon for having an active faith and love of Christ and fellow Christians, and now he moves into his bold request. He says “accordingly,” or stated another way, “because of all I have just said…” By saying this, Paul ties Philemon’s previous actions to a confidence that he will respond positively to his appeal.
Paul continues prefacing his ask with “though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you…for my child, Onesimus.”
Paul knows what he is asking Philemon to do is a big deal. As we learned, Philemon owned a slave named Onesimus who had at some point run away. As his owner, Philemon had every legal right to severely punish Onesimus for his actions. Under Roman law, the penalties for a runaway slave who was captured were severe, ranging from brutal beatings and whippings, to amputations, and even being put to death by crucifixion. It was no joke to return as a runaway slave, and if theft was involved, as we believe was the case with Onesimus, Philemon certainly was justified to punish him very harshly.
We can now start to see Paul’s purpose in writing this letter in the first place, as well as why he was so bold with Philemon. Paul’s appeal to Philemon was not one of coercion or on the basis of Paul’s authority as an apostle, but strictly one of brotherly love. Instead of trying to force Philemon’s submission through guilt or religious duty, he prefers to ask under the plea of grace and mercy.
In this we see a powerful lesson for us today. We may have been given great authority over others or legal rights that we are fully permitted to exercise, but as believers we are still required to have humility, grace, and mercy when dealing with others.
I am reminded of Jesus’s parable of the unforgiving servant, as outlined in Matthew 18. Here were are told of a man who was graciously forgiven of a colossal debt of 10,000 talents, which was about 200,000 YEARS of income for the average person, and yet after being forgiven immediately went out to a person who owed him 100 denarii (about 3 months of income), but would not forgive him and put the man in prison. When the first master found out (in this parable, we’d consider the master to be God), he was very angry and said, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” (Matthew 18:32-33).
With this passage in mind, Paul’s appeal to Philemon on the basis of love and grace is certainly one that echoes loudly today. Considering how much God has already forgiven us through Christ, a debt that far exceeds 200,000 years of income, should we not also be willing to forgive others who owe us much less?
In the coming verses we’ll see Paul get even more bold with Philemon as he articulates the need for forgiveness and reconciliation in this broken relationship. And we also can start to really see the humility required on both sides – that from Onesimus who was returning to a master he deserted, knowing that he could literally be facing a death sentence, and that from Philemon, who was being asked to forfeit his legal rights and forgive someone who caused him harm.
Yet, this is the Christian walk. It’s the hard, narrow path, the one that requires us to think of others first and ourselves second. As I often say, it’s not easy and we will stumble, but through spiritual vigilance, submission to God’s will in everything, and the Spirit’s help, we can get better at it every day. Remember the words of our Lord Jesus, speaking of how difficult it is to follow Him: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible,” (Matt. 19:26).